Dynasty Warriors Dare Game and React Show
by VelocityRaptor
Summary: Ask a DW characters to do something and they will do it REGARDLESS. Simple. Changed to a React show since I can't do ALL your dares considering that I don't have much time for that many reviews
1. Introduction

**DYNASTY WARRIORS ULTIMATE DARE GAME**

**Ask them what you want them to do! I'll also give dares if I don't get too much reviews. Anyway, there are a few rules (just two of them).**

**1. Killing is okay but they will respawn next chapter**

**2. I won't describe rated M content too much.**

**But regardless, post what you want them to do!**


	2. Energy Drinks and Rifles

**Zhang Fei saw his dare that said:**

Go a week without wine or any alcoholic drink of any kind (Xu Shu)

**Zhang Fei was doing well in the first few hours but he was about to let his temptation to wine and alcohol get the better of him until he saw Zhang Bao holding something**

**ZF: What's that, son?**

**ZB: An energy drink.**

**ZF: Where do you get those?**

**ZB: Pang Tong's unguarded secret stash. Everyone else got theirs from there.**

**With that, Zhang Fei took the stash and started living on energy drinks for the rest of the week. After an entire week, he was still obsessed with the drinks.**

**ZF: MORE! MORE!**

* * *

><p><strong>Sima Shi was walking on the street, muttering to himself:<strong>

**"Damn you, Zhao."**

**He got to the park and screamed:**

**"I HAVE A FETISH FOR MEATBUNS! *POW* Wang Yi punched him into the fountain.**

**In the mall**

**"I HAVE A FETISH FOR MEATBUNS!" *POW* Xu Zhu thwacked him all the way to a women's clothing shop**

**On top of a gargoyle**

**"I HAVE A FETISH FOR MEAT BUNS!" *BRATATATATAT* Xiahou Dun shot him with an assault rifle and he fell off the gargoyle and turned into a pile of guts and gore when he hit the ground.**

* * *

><p><strong>Lu Xun went to his room only to see that his matches, torches, flame throwers, lighters and flammable items have been replaced for water balloons, water guns and a bunch of hoses. He saw a paper that said:<strong>

Put out fires instead of making them for a day. (Sun Quan)

**"DAMN YOU SUN QUAN!"**

**He was able to resist his urge to burn but couldn't handle it anymore when he saw Taishi Ci accidentally setting a table on fire. Still attempting to resist, he puts out the fire with a filled water gun. This happened repeatedly until the day ended.**

**"WOOHOO!"**

**He began to burn everything he sees.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wang Yi saw her dare,<strong>

**"Hell no."**

**"DO IT OR SUFFER YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO GET YOUR REVENGE!" a voice echoed across the room.**

**"YOU ALSO CANNOT TRY TO KILL WHOEVER TOLD YOU TO DO IT!"**

**"Well, who told me?"**

**"GUO JIA"**

**"Aw crap. Can I kill him afterwards?"**

**"UH...YES"**

**Wang Yi got ready with a dress she got from Zhang He and her trishulas are with Zhang Chunhua to prevent her from receiving any urges to kill. He knocked on Ma Chao and Ma Dai's house. Ma Chao opened it.**

**"Uh...Wanna go on a date?"**

**"Um...no."**

**"We're going to the bar?"**

**"DEAL!"**

**They went into the bar and Wang Yi fooled Ma Chao into getting himself drunk. They went to Wang Yi's house. She invited the drunk Ma Chao to her room but he already recovered from drunkenness afterwards. Wang Yi came back holding an assault rifle. Ma Chao wasn't surprised.**

**"I knew you were going to do this. Shoot me out of the window! It will look cool!"**

**Wang Yi shot Ma Chao out of the window and conveniently, he lands inside a dumpster. A garbage truck grabbed the dumpster and tossed everything along with Ma Chao in it. He was still alive though he was hurt sooooooooooooo bad. Wang Yi felt satisfied and stored away her assault rifle as the garbage truck took Ma Chao to the junk yard.**

* * *

><p><strong>"Anybody wanna do this dare?" Liu Shan asked everyone. He saw a dare that told someone to sniff someone's butt. He saw Guan Ping.<strong>

**GP: Liu Shan?**

**LS: Do this dare. I gotta go.**

**Guan Ping saw the dare and did it no problem though he got punched by the one whose butt got sniffed by Guan Ping who just happened to be Cai Wenji.**

**CP: Just because I look cute doesn't mean I'm a pacifist.**


	3. I feel lazy

**Chapter 3: I feel lazy**

Zhang Chunhua walked into Sima Yi's **room with a plate of bread and cheese but, as she opened the door, she saw Zhuge Liang.**

**ZC: Uh...**

**ZL: Don't. Ask.**

**Sima Yi ended up in Zhuge Liang's house and had to hide from Jiang Wei (with some help from Liu Shan) due to... You know.**

**SY: Thanks.**

**LS: How did you end up here?**

**SY: Bah. It's a dare given to me by Zuo Ci. I have to trade places with Zhuge Liang.**

**They spent the rest of the day, hiding, eating and interacting with each other's wives though they (Yue Ying and Zhang Chunhua) think it's just plain weird. After the day, the two got back to their original places.**

**SY and ZL: How did it go with Sima Yi/ Zhuge Liang?**

**YY and ZC: It was just weird.**

* * *

><p><strong>Lu Bu borrowed one of Diao Chan's dresses when he saw his dare. He was going to prove that he was not afraid of humiliation. He thought to himself however,<strong>

**"The dress is too small. I'll do it in boxers instead."**

**He ran around the palace in his boxers, literally. Whenever Hua Xiong and Chen Gong would tease him, he would smack them in the face. The rest of the soldiers were still afraid of him. Afterwards, he smacked Dong Zhuo in the face as well.**

**DZ: Ow!**

**LB: Haha! You really think that dress would fit me?!**

* * *

><p><strong>Zhu Ran and Lu Xun burned down most of Wu's assault rifles. Lian Shi saw them.<strong>

**LS: WHAT THE F*** DID YOU TWO IDIOTS DO?!**

**ZR and LX: Crap! RUN!**

**'Nuff said**

* * *

><p><strong>Wang Yi saw her dare and sighed. She muttered to herself,<strong>

**"At least I'm not asking Ma Chao out on a date."**

**Wang Yi and Lu Lingqi began their staring contest. They each bet a pouch of gold. After 2 hours, both women were still not holding back. Wang Yi resorted into the big guns: A picture of Zhen Ji and Cai Wenji making out!**

**LL: Where'd you get that picture? It's awesome!**

**WY: Got them drunk.**

**LL: But Cai Wenji doesn't drink.**

**WY: She tried a few sips but she has low alcohol tolerance.**

**LL: Cool! Let's stare at that picture again!**

**Both women began to drool over the picture.**

* * *

><p><strong>The random dare of diarrhea got to Xiahou Yuan. He accepted it and ate everything in his sight. He was taken to a hospital where Guo Huai said he got diabetes.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Bah. I am lazy<strong>


	4. Off my lazy arse

**Off my lazy arse**

* * *

><p><strong>Buy a dress for Wang Yi, go to her house and say "I love you" (Ma Dai)<strong>

**Ma Chao asked everyone in Shu for a dress and he got himself an idea.**

**2 hours later...**

***Knock Knock***

**Wang Yi opened the door to find Ma Chao with a light blue and white dress in his hand.**

**"I love you" he nervously said. Wang Yi pulled out a pistol and shoots him in the chest. He was wearing a vest but it still hurts.**

**"DAMN YOU COUSIN!" Ma Chao held the stuck bullet on his vest, screaming in pain on the ground. Wang Yi picked up the dress and went back to her house.**

**"Thanks for the dress anyway."**

**Ma Chao was approached by a seemingly pissed off Zhen Ji.**

**"You gave Wang Yi one of my dresses?"**

**"Uh...yes?"**

**"Then you're fine." Zhen Ji leaves. Ma Chao is still on the ground in pain.**

* * *

><p><strong>Sima Zhao slowly approached Jia Chong while he was still reading "Twilight" while holding a razor in his hand. Before he could touch his hair however, Jia Chong roundhouse kicks him to a wall.<strong>

**"If you'll excuse me. I'll go back to finishing "Twilight""**

* * *

><p><strong>Sima Yi searched yaoi and went to the first result. He had to stare at it for a while.<strong>

**24 hours later...**

**Sima Shi came into the room. He saw his father with a completely freaked out face.**

**"Father. Are you alright?" Sima Yi leaps at his son and grabs his collar. He began to shake him vigorously.**

**"WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THIS THING ANYWAY?! Oh wait." Sima Yi ran to Zhang Chunhua's bedroom and gave her a box with a new pair of wired gloves in it.**

**"You like it, my lady? Wanna get it on?"**

**Zhang Chunhua smirked. "Frick yeah."**

**5 minutes later...**

**"Mother, you have mail fro... WHAT IN OBLIVION ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Sima Zhao freaked out. Sima Yi and Zhang Chunhua were on the desk and...you probably know what's happening right now.**

**"Doing something romantic with your mother for once. Ever heard of knocking?"**

**"The door wasn't locked. Ugh." Sima Zhao covered his eyes and left the room in disgust.**

* * *

><p><strong>"LU MENG!" Gan Ning shouted.<strong>

**"Yeah?" Lu Meng asked.**

**"I was making out with Ling Tong and I impregnated myself."**

**"GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!" Lu Meng shouted.**

**"GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!" Lian Shi shouted.**

**"GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!" Everyone shouted.**

**Gan Ning thought to himself,**

**"They fell for it. I feel so accomplished."**

* * *

><p><strong>Cao Pi came out of his room in Zhen Ji's clothes and flute and Zhen Ji came out in Cao Pi's clothes and twin swords.<strong>

**"How long are we doing this again?"**

**"A week."**

**And it was no problem.**

* * *

><p><strong>"I want to be a woman!" Zhang He got thrown to the door by Guan Yu. (Shu)<strong>

**"I want to be a woman!" He got chased out by tigers. (Wu)**

**"I want to be a woman!" Nothing happened. (Wei)**

**"I want to be a woman!" He got blasted to a wall by Guo Huai. (Jin)**

**"I LOOK SO HORRENDOUS!" he shouted.**

**"WE DON'T CARE!" Everyone shouted at him."**

* * *

><p><strong>Xing Cai and Zhang Bao were staring at a bottle of their father's piss.<strong>

**"Rock Paper Scissors, sis? Loser drinks it first."**

**"Sure."**

**After a few rounds, Xing Cai lost and drank 90 percent of the piss and Zhang Bao drank the rest. They spat it all out after a few seconds.**

* * *

><p><strong>Bonus: I dare three people from each kingdom to get Rickrolled.<strong>

**Reactions:**

**Shu**

**Liu Bei: I have no idea what just happened.**

**Zhang Fei: IT WAS GOING SO WELL UNTIL YOU MADE THIS GUY COME OUT!**

**Ma Dai: Not bad. Not bad. (he starts singing the song)**

**Wu**

**Zhou Tai: ...Meh**

**Lian Shi: I wish Lord Sun Quan can sing like that.**

**Lu Xun: (he sings while holding a blowtorch)**

**Wei**

**Cao Pi: What the...**

**Cai Wenji: How did this guy make his voice like that?**

**Wang Yi: I hate you whoever this guy is.**

**Jin**

**Sima Zhao: (wakes up to music)**

**Wang Yuanji: This prank is a bit too illogical.**

**Wen Yang: ...Meh**


	5. New Show

**Since you guys have been giving me TOO many dares to work on, I'll change it to a react show. Anyway, here's some characters reacting to One Direction.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wei<strong>

**Zhenji: (squeals)**

**Cao Pi: (groans)**

**Guo Jia: They remind me of myself for some reason**

**Cao Ren: I'd rather see Gundam than this s*****

**Wu**

**Sun Ce: (squeals) Wait what? Why did I just squeal?**

**Xiaoqiao: (squeals)**

**Sun Jian: (enjoys it for some reason)**

**Sun Shangxiang: Meh. Zhao Yun's kinda better than this.**

**Shu**

**Bao Sanniang: (squeals)**

**Guan Ping: Must...Resist...One...Direction**

**Huang Zhong: Bah. Is this what youngsters have been listening to these days?!**

**Guan Yinping: (groans)**

**Jin**

**Sima Yi: (Destroys the computer)**

**Zhang Chunhua: Meh.**

**Sima Shi: (covers his ears)**

**Sima Zhao: (has earplugs on)**

**Other**

**Lu Bu: (Destroys the computer)**

**Zhurong: (Punches the monitor)**

**Yuan Shao: I must say, these people are dashing fellows**

**Zuo Ci: Meh.**

* * *

><p><strong>That was just an example. Review or PM me what you want them to react to. React-ers will always be the ff.<strong>

**Wei- Cao Pi and the girls (Wang Yi, Cai Wenji and Zhenji)**

**Wu- The Suns**

**Shu- Guan siblings**

**Jin- Sima Family**

**Other- above people**


	6. Spreading the Gag?

**DW CHARACTERS REACT TO:**

**Five Nights at Freddy's**

**Wei**

**Cao Pi: WTF**

**Cai Wenji: (screams)**

**Zhenji: Woah!**

**Wang Yi: (flinches) IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?!  
><strong>

**Wu**

**Sun Jian: I THOUGHT THAT BLOODY THING WAS INNOCENT!**

**Sun Ce: Who plays this s*** anyway?!**

**Sun Quan: (falls off the chair)**

**Sun Shangxiang: What the hell?!**

**Shu**

**Guan Ping: Meh.**

**Guan Xing: What the...**

**Guan Suo: (flinches)**

**Guan Yinping: Meh.**

**Jin**

**Sima Yi: Huh?**

**Zhang Chunhua: What the...**

**Sima Shi: What in Oblivion is this?!**

**Sima Zhao: Meh.**

**Other**

**Lu Bu: Meh.**

**Zhurong: Meh.**

**Yuan Shao: (flinches and falls off the chair)**

**Zuo Ci: Meh.**

* * *

><p><strong>Human Centipede (the gag must spread?)<strong>

**Wei**

**Cao Pi: (cries blood)**

**Cai Wenji: (screams)**

**Zhenji: (screams)**

**Wang Yi: (flinches)**

**Wu**

**Sun Jian: (cries blood)**

**Sun Ce: (cries blood)**

**Sun Quan: (cries blood)**

**Sun Shangxiang: (cries blood)**

**Shu**

**Guan Ping: Meh.**

**Guan Xing: Meh.**

**Guan Suo: Meh.**

**Guan Yinping: Meh.**

**Jin**

**Sima Yi: (Cries blood)**

**Zhang Chunhua: Meh.**

**Sima Shi: (Throws up)**

**Sima Zhao: (Looks at the screen for a while and then throws up)**

**Other**

**Lu Bu: Meh.**

**Zhurong: What the hell?**

**Yuan Shao: (cries blood all over his suit)**

**Zuo Ci: Meh.**

* * *

><p><strong>Lu Xun in a Maid outfit (seriously?)<strong>

**(Ok. Let's say everybody laughed.)**

* * *

><p><strong>NEW RULE: POST DARES AND I WILL PICK OUT THE BEST ONE TO BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER<strong>


End file.
